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Posts Tagged ‘foxes’

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It has been ages since I have spoken to 001 Claude Pheasant, so it was nice to hear from him again.  It seems his cousin Sir Sideney (with two e’s) Effington has moved into the area and bought the Hall near Farmer Johns.  Boy he sounds such a show off, Claude said he wears a silver suit, calls everybody ‘old boy’ even shouting ‘what oh’ when he sees someone.  I heard a large sigh on the phone, poor old Claude.

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I have to admit I didn’t know Claude was so well-connected. It seems his father has an older brother who inherited the title, estate and money.   Whilst Claude’s father went into the Civil Service and did very well (no wonder Claude got the job).  Anyway what is upsetting 001 is the fact that Sideney is trying to get Claude to build a new home “grand as befits the family”.  Poor old Claude  he really likes his home at Farmer Johns “what do I do Mike” he asked.  “Lady Effington is a real pain she keeps taking me out to lunch and the wife gets really  feathery about it. I’m so fed up, I mean have you seen that old hen? she has more bald spots than FJ, at least he’s funny, what am I going to do?” He sounded so down not his usual cheeky self, this was serious.

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I had to think this was not an easy situation. I asked what FJ thought about Sideney.  There was a small cauky chuckle “if Sideney gets too much he starts eyeing up the pots and sharpening his knife”. Even I had to laugh at that.

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“Do you know what else he has done? he’s employed a painter, not a decorator, but an actual painter like Gaughan, to decorate the Hall. As if that’s bad enough the artist is a FOX!!!  I can’t see this ending well. We have never seen this character with a brush in his hand let alone paint smeared”  Whilst we were talking I got this mental picture of Sir Sideney in the House of Lords dressed in his robes with his cornett squiffy on his head sitting amongst the other peasants, it was hard for me not to laugh.  Still by the time we said goodby an idea had come to 001 and he was a happier chappier.  I am not sure what he has in mind but can’t wait to hear what happened.

(c)  Michael Douglas Bosc

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‘Remember, remember the 5th of November gunpowder treason and plot’….. 

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We are in London visiting my sister as normal for this time of year, and Guy Fawkes night (the plot to blow up Parliament) was last night. So she and her husband built a small bonfire as you do at the end of their garden which I will add is on the end of the allotments.  So comes the dark and we (my brother-in-law, nephew and I) troop out and light the fire leaving the girls inside getting dinner.

We were enjoying ourselves as men do chatting and watching the displays lighting up the night sky, lots of bangs woooshes with the reds, greens, and other colours of the fireworks, when dinner was called so making sure the fire was safe we duly trooped in to eat. The meal was a leisurely affair good food, wine (from Spain) and company, which saw us men head for the tv and football, whilst the women did the washing up and then went out to tend the remains of the bonfire. When they arrived there watching them was a fox, not in the least shy but as there was a fire it did not go closer. Times are definately changing wild foxes in the heart of a big city what next I wonder  – a hunt going down Chiswick High road??? (thanks for the comment Clive).

Now what we did not know was that the police had spies in the sky and had spotted, as they do, an unattended fire (in other words one heat source on the heat sensor) so whilst the girls were watching the remains of the fire three bobbies turned up and asked why the fire was not attended? eh!! My wife being my wife then asked if they had any potatoes suggesting if they had they came and put them in the fire, needless to say three bemused bobbies left grinning, and us? well guess who had to make the coffee???  lol  I hope your bonfire night went well and all enjoyed a fun evening.

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