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Hi my names Gilda and if I’m looking cheesed off then that is exactly what I am.  I mean how would you like it if you were out for an evening and ended up down a hole then had to wait till morning to be hauled out.  Oh you have done the same, hurts the old feet when you land doesn’t it not to mention how cold you get.  Still I found a soft comfy thing to hide under till the human got me out, then I was able to make a dignified retreat after the photo’s of course.

 

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The human found me in the hole but didn’t want to pick me up as he thought it might not be safe, so he placed this flat thing on the ground and gently nudged me on to it. Next thing I know I’m going up in the air never been in a lift before, then he set me down so I could crawl – I was too shattered to hop – off somewhere safe.

 

 

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Just as I’m getting warm and back on firm ground I come face to face with the female from the Forest News, so I had to tell my story and pose for photographs. I have to admit I was a little peeved as all I wanted to do was find somewhere quiet get warm and recover after my ordeal. Anyway I finally had enough and walked away, but my ordeal was not quite over.

 

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I found there was a piece of wood in my way first I thought I could hide under it but there was not enough room so I ended up having to climb over it, not an ideal thing for one in my position. But at last I was able to see the wall where I lived and got home safe and sound.  But I tell you this I shall not be going near that hole again, it was a very long way down. Now I hear you asking what was I doing near the hole in the first place. Well I was on my way across the garden and it was just there, mind you I am not the only one to fall in. My Cousin Bert did the same last night only being smaller and younger he was a bit more active than I was so the man had a job getting him out but finally he was safely on his way to the forest. I don’t know what the hole is for but I will be glad when it’s filled in.  Life here is nothing if not exciting. rivet rivet….

 

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 Oh by the way THIS is the hole and the human who got me out…………………………

 

© Michael Douglas Bosc

 

 

 

 

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My name is ‘Orace Toad and if I look ‘cheesed off ‘ then know I have a good reason, ‘She’ has been at it again, let me explain. I live in the forest in the few damp patches there – which have been getting fewer and fewer over the past years – happy contented and unwashed.  Then one day up turn these two humans with machines and build a small home. Well I mean what else could I do but hop off to newer damp places.  I was told by my mum that humans were not kind to toads and frogs, if they had a pool of water and found our ancestors in it they threw them out.  So imagine my surprise when Bobbin Robbin got them to build a water bar for him and the other birds, all ‘she’ wanted was to take photographs of them.  This was ok with most of the birds but the blue tits didn’t like being photographed in the bath.

But I digress.  This year ‘she’ placed some long bags on the sunny side of the  house then planted some plants which I heard ‘him’ refer to as tomatoes when he told her they were growing well.  Every night ‘she’ watered these plants and the soil inside became soft, damp and warm.  So, I thought, why don’t I ‘move in’, it had everything I wanted, protection from the hot sun, it was moist, didn’t dry out and for insects was a toads delight.

Only I forgot about the watering.  Yesterday they went out early so I looked my new home over, crept under the flap then settled down to have a snooze.  But I slept too long so that when they came back to water the plants I was still asleep under the flap, suddenly the flap was pulled back and I was soaked. ‘Oh look’ she said ‘Michael come and look at this’.  ‘THIS’ she called me ‘THIS’, well that did it, I hopped out and hid down the back of my bag while I waited for her to go away. No such luck, first ‘he’ came to look at me, said I was nice and thankfully went away. Not her, off ‘she’ went to return a few moments later with her camera and took my picture, twice, I ask you once would have been enough and you wonder why I look cheesed off.

Still they went out again and I was able to go looking for my dinner, not a bad result either I came across a rather tasty looking lady toad called Flo and who knows……

(c) Michael Bosc

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